As a masochistic sub I am absolutely in heaven. This experience seems to be deepening my submission in a profound way. Perhaps with time I will be able to better express what I am feeling. I live and breathe Domalicious right now. She is my reason for being. It is so hard for me to be away from her right now, not all due to her relationship with Master, but that is certainly a big part of it. When I am home I just want to be with her, and I mean with her. I want to be touching her, or as near her as I can be. I love my work, and enjoy going out and doing other things, but honestly right now I would much rather be with her every minute of every day. I have been afraid that I may be getting too clingy for her, but she has assured me that I am not, and that she is enjoying the level of attention I am giving her.
The jealousy and sensitivity I experience at times can be really hard to deal with. I am finding this arises mostly when I am tired and/or stressed. I get a bit fragile then and things that wouldn't bother me at other times can really hurt me. I am beginning to believe though that even this occasional emotional pain is good in its own way. I am finding that I have a love/hate relationship with this pain just as I do with the pain of a whip or cane. There are times when I just feel like crying, and I am not a crying kind of guy. Somehow though I think that this pain is not all bad. Again this is all so new to me and I really can't express how it makes me feel yet.
I do believe that this emotional pain is going to be a part of a cuckolding relationship such as the one we are currently engaged in, and I would definitely not recommend that such a relationship be entered into lightly. Domalicious and I are experienced with cuckolding, but we have definitely taken it to a new level with this current situation.I am coming to love it more and more though.
Sometimes I wonder what it is that makes me the way I am. Why do I crave this pain. Why do I get so excited being humiliated by my wife and her Master. Of course a big part of my enjoyment of this is knowing that Domalicious loves me so much. The pain that she inflicts on me is inflicted with love, it is just a different way of loving from what is considered the "norm".
I love this pain as well because it is something that I can suffer for Domalicious. It is a way for me to show her my love. I can give this to her as a gift and as a sign of my devotion. I love to see how happy she is with Master, and even though it may make me jealous at times it also gives great joy.
Of course most of this experience is not painful at all, instead it is erotic and incredibly hot, if you are a masochistic sub that is. Actually I don't think I would have to be a masochistic sub to enjoy seeing how happy and fulfilled my wife is. Master gives Domalicious much that I am not able to give her, and it makes me incredibly happy that she is able to enjoy all these gifts of life.
Last night Master and Domalicious were playing a bit on video chat over the computer and I was allowed to be in the room with Domalicious. It was so exciting for me to see how turned on she is by Master and the joy she is finding in being his sub. Of course when she gets so turned on it is good for me since I am the one there with her and Master is being generous in allowing her to play with me quite a bit.
She was posing for Master last night over the video chat, and they were talking, they were teasing and humiliating me as well. They teased me about how small pinky is and how well Master is endowed. Master made a joke, I can't remember just what it was, but something about how pinky could not even fill a thimble, which just cracked Domalicious up. It was so hot for me to hear her laughing at his joke, and at me, like that.
Domalicous wanted to show Master her favorite spanking implement, the rawhide quirt I have mentioned before here. She showed it to Master and then had me lay across the bed and gave me a few stripes with it. She must have wanted to impress Master because she put a lot of energy into them, I have some pretty good marks still. I will post the picture of the quirt again below, it is a vicious thing when Domalicious wishes it to be.
After they were done Master gave her permission for me to worship his pussy. It was so wonderful, she used her queening stool and allowed me to worship her. While I was worshiping she was reminding me that it is Master's pussy now, and that I had better be sure to thank Master for allowing me to worship it.
We cuddled afterward and it was such a wonderful feeling to be her sub. I was and am so happy that I belong to her.
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