Deeper submission.

I had a really intense experience last night at the hands of Domalicious and I am experiencing some really powerful emotions from it.

I think that I should explain first that there have been some changes in how Domalicious relates to me since she has submitted to Master.  This seems to be a result of her experiencing being a sub.  Since she is now a sub herself she has a whole new perspective on what a sub feels and goes through.  She has become more outwardly dominant towards me, or perhaps I should say more demonstrably dominant.  Things that she used to find somewhat silly and be bothered by, such as some of the D/s protocol, she is now embracing and expecting from me.  I like these changes very much, but it is definitely an adjustment for me.  I am having to sort of re-learn what she expects from me.  She has also been disciplining me more physically, which of course I love.

Last night she had me lay across the bed, she had the rawhide quirt in her hand, and I thought "alright a nice whipping will feel great right now."  She didn't say anything but just all of a sudden started whipping me very hard.  There was no warm up, she didn't say I was being punished for anything, she just started smacking that thing across my ass freaking hard.  Now it wasn't as hard as she is capable of, but it was definitely beyond my comfort level at that point.

I didn't understand why she was hitting me so hard, I thought I must have really screwed something up, and I became very upset.  I took the beating as best I could, but I started crying and trying to tell her I didn't understand.  After a bit, it seemed like forever, she asked me how many more I could take.  In my head I was thinking no more, but I just was crying and telling her I didn't understand.  She asked if I wanted twenty five, or three, or zero, or how many more I thought I could take.  I told her five more which she gave to me.

At this point the tears were really flowing and I was trying to tell her that I didn't understand.  She came down on the bed next to me and held me and told me she loved me.  She stroked me and held me and then explained that she was marking me as her property, that she wanted my bottom to carry her mark.  At that point I felt badly that I hadn't asked for more.

I have still been very emotional today, I was really confused while she was whipping me.  I was so upset thinking that I must have done something really bad to make her or Master angry enough that she would whip me like that.  Then, when I found out why she was doing it, I felt badly that I hadn't taken more.

I am still not sure what to make of this, it was just so intense.  It has made me feel very submissive today, and very needy, I can't get enough of hugging and holding Domalicious.  I am proud that I stayed there, behaved myself, and took the whipping like a good sub.  I wish I had understood from the beginning what she was doing, but that was a part of it I suppose, in a way a test of my submission to her.

Anyway, it was a very intense experience for me, the bad news is I still didn't really mark.  I do have a couple small bruises, but not what she was hoping for.  I have never bruised easily, so hopefully she will try again soon, maybe tonight, and if so I will hopefully better understand what is happening and not get so emotional and upset about it.