Punishment

As was posted sometime back, I had taken matters into my own hands, and masturbated to conclusion a couple of weeks ago while out of town.  That is a no-no around here, but we have been so busy I wasn't really punished.....until last night.

The following is an account, as best I can recall, of what happened.  Please understand much of this is a bit blurry to me, it was all happening fairly quickly, and I was just trying to follow direction, and accept the punishment as best I could.

Before I begin the description I think it is necessary to establish a few points.  First is that Ms Exotic really does not have that many rules for me, but not masturbating without her permission is an important one.  When I took matters into my own hands I did not do so without giving it some thought first.

I was fairly sure that if I could discuss it with Ms Exotic that she would have blessed me with permission to ejaculate under the circumstances, had I not believed this I would not have done it.  I also knew that did not excuse me from going ahead and making the decision myself, and that it would be necessary that I be punished for my actions.  I felt that under the circumstances it was something that I needed to do, and that I would take responsibility for my actions and accept whatever punishment that Ms Exotic felt appropriate.  I felt that Ms Exotic would be somewhat lenient with me due to the circumstances.  I still feel that Ms Exotic was quite lenient with me, and I would like to publicly thank her for her mercy and grace.  I know that she punished me out of love, and honestly I know that I was forgiven as soon as I told her what had happened.

I believe that this punishment was administered in order to strengthen our bond as Domme and sub.  I also believe that is the intent of this rule in our marriage.  I agree with this rule, in fact I am sure I was the one who proposed that she take control of my orgasms when we married.

I am grateful to her for taking the lead in our marriage, for the rules she has established, and for the punishment she administers when a rule is broken.  I also understand that there must be consequences when a rule is broken, otherwise what is the point of the rule in the first place?

While I did not break this rule in order to be punished, I would have been disappointed had I not been punished.  You see, I really do feel that some rules are important in a FLR, those rules can be whatever the woman chooses, but I do feel that there needs to be some parameters established.  In my opinion, without some parameters being established the sub is going to feel lost, and just be wandering aimlessly in the wake of the leader.

Now, I also need to point out that Ms Exotic does not feel that punishment should be fun for her sub.  I agree with her.  We do play with discipline and pain on occasion, but we see punishment as something completely different.

While punishment may involve the same implements, and even similar actions, there is a difference.  Play and discipline are intended to involve a level of pleasure, they strengthen our bond through erotic pleasure for us both.  In other words play and discipline are intended to elicit a positive reaction.

Punishment strengthens our bond as well, but in a different way.  Punishment is intended to correct a behavior, in other words it is intended to cause the punished to equate negative behavior to negative results.  So.... if I masturbate without permission, instead of just having a nice orgasm, something negative is going to happen as well.  That negative needs to outweigh the positive of the orgasm.  

Finally it is necessary to point out that I have a fairly high pain threshold, and am fairly experienced at receiving pain.  I have been in D/s relationships that have involved pain used as play, discipline, and punishment for sometime.

I am a masochist and I am capable of taking a fairly serious whipping.  Please do not think that Ms Exotic was in anyway cruel or over the top in what she did to me.  Everything was consensual, and it was all well within my ability to deal with.  Some people may think that what occurred was extreme, others will think it mild.  It is all a matter of perspective.  While some may argue that our play and punishment does not qualify as safe and sane, it is all consensual.

Now, on to the play by play:

It started off with Ms Exotic tickling me, which I hate.  She had me lay on my back, and she used a feather tickler.  It has a whippy handle with feathers on the end, it can be used to tickle, and the handle makes a light spanking implement as well.  So she started trying to tickle me, and giving me a few swats mostly on the penis and testicles with this tickler, but for some reason I just wasn't as ticklish as normal.  Since that wasn't having the desired effect, she switched tools.

She used a rawhide quirt that I bought for her about a year ago.   This quirt can be quite extreme.

She had me still laying on my back, with my legs spread.  She began quirting the inside of my right thigh, right below my scrotum, over and over.  She didn't start out light, there was no warm up.  She just kept hitting the same spot over and over, hard.

Things are sort of a blur from this point on.  I remember closing my legs at one point, and her telling me to open them back up and take my punishment.  I think I did okay.  I just concentrated on breathing, keeping my legs spread, and my body as still as I could from then on.  I have no idea how many swats she gave me, or how long this lasted.  She just kept hitting that same area on the inside of my thigh, the only exception being a few swats to my testicles, I could not hold still on those, but I tried very hard not to cover up.  One swat to the testicles in particular absolutely doubled me over, and it took me a minute to recover from that one.  I think Ms Exotic said she hit it with the edge of the popper on the quirt.  I just know it made me see stars.

Eventually she stopped, and lectured me on how important she felt it was that I not touch myself in that way ever again, no matter the circumstances.  She then told me to begin stroking my penis, and make it hard.  This was scary, because I knew something was going to happen and it was not going to be fun.  So I reached down and began stroking, immediately she began whipping that same area on my inner thigh extremely hard, and I mean extremely hard.  Holy #*&% it hurt!  I had been trying to keep the noise levels down previous to this, but I think I may have been screaming at this point.  I don't remember really how loud I was, but I know I was begging her to please allow me to stop touching myself, because I knew the only way she was going to stop whipping me was when I stopped touching myself, but since she had told me to play with it I didn't dare stop without her permission.  Finally she told me I could stop, and she stopped whipping me as soon as I let go of my penis.  She made me do this two or three more times.

I am not sure the order of things from here on, but I think that next she had me roll over and she whipped my bottom and the backs of my thighs for a while.  She then began to tickle me, I think with the lanyard from the quirt.  Whatever it was it worked much better than the feathers had, I was going crazy, and really struggling trying to keep reasonably still.  She also whipped me a bit with something thumpy, I think it may have been the handle of the quirt, but I am not sure.

I think that it was after whipping my behind that she said it was time to punish me for arguing with her a few nights ago.  Don't think I had mentioned it here, but I had argued with her over something that really upset, and actually scared me a bit, with regards to her safety.  But the bottom line is I should have handled it differently, and not argued with her.

Anyway, for this she broke out the tweezers.  She began pulling hairs from my lower back, and from various areas between my legs.  Sometimes it was one hair at a time, sometimes multiple, and she doesn't pull them quickly when she does this to me.  She pulls them very slowly, and when she grabs multiples I get to feel every single one of them come out.

This is one of her stand-by punishments, and believe me it is not much fun for me, she on the other hand always seems to think it is quite funny.  This went on for quite awhile, with her lecturing me, and asking me how I could have handled it better, how I will handle it in the future, was I really sorry, etc.  I am not sure, but I think that she quirted my behind some more, and spanked me a bit with her hand at some point as well.

Eventually she stopped, I was pretty exhausted by this time.  She had me roll over, and she got astraddle of me, allowing me to enter her.  She rode me for quite awhile, edging me over and over, and eventually giving me a ruined orgasm.  After that she had me make her some tea, then sent me to bed, while she took a bath.

If any of you think that this was fun believe me, except for her riding me and giving me the ruined orgasm, it wasn't at the time.  I know that reading about this it can sound kind of hot especially to us masochists, heck it even sound hot to me now, but last night it was not so hot.  My behind is okay this morning, but my inner thigh is still extremely tender, and shows a bit of bruising.

I would like to publicly apologize to Ms Exotic, Ms Erotic, and the entire Men Submit community.  As Ms Exotic explained to me last night since she is one of the owners of this site, and I am her husband, I am to be held to a high standard of behavior.  I am sorry for disobeying her, and arguing with her, and will strive to be better behaved in the future.