Lost in a world of fantasy.

Like many men, especially submissive men, I often get lost in a world of fantasy.  I don't know why, since I have a pretty great reality.  I live a reality that would probably be many submissive men's fantasy, but still I get much too deeply into fantasy at times.

I wonder if vanilla men have as vivid a fantasy life as sub men?  For me, and I suppose most sub guys, fantasy was my only real sexual outlet for years, until I met Ms Exotic.  I had vanilla sex before then of course, and a bit of D/s stuff, but really the vanilla sex was never truly satisfying for me.  I was always left craving the D/s stuff, and fantasy was as close as I was able to get to having that itch scratched.

So after all those years of fantasy it has become a part of my sexuality, or an addiction, or ?????  I don't really know, I just know it is there, and it is really powerful at times. 

I have to be really careful that I don't push too much of it at Ms Exotic.  Sometimes I don't even realize that I have gotten off into fantasy land.  Something may seem like a great idea to me, and like it is just the way things should be, but if I tell Ms Exotic about it, or even if I can back away from it and look at it from a different perspective, I realize it is fantasy BS, and that it really is not fair to be pushing it at my wife all the time.

Now, I am not saying fantasy is bad, it's not, it can be great, and some should be shared with our partners.  However, sometimes I tend to over do it a bit.

Ms Exotic recently got together with a new guy.  Nothing pushes my sub buttons like when she cuckolds me.  I love it, it just makes me feel so submissive to her.  Now the downside is that it always kicks my fatasizing into high gear, and I have to be careful that I am not pushing too much at her and making her uncomfortable. 

I am learning to control myself better.  I usually keep my fantasies pretty well to myself unless she asks me about them.  Sometimes I just can't stand it and have to tell her something.  She has come up with a special way for me to approach her at those times.  I must approach her at an appropriate time, naked, and assuming a submissive posture.  She then knows that I wish to speak to her about something of a fantasy or kink nature, and will either grant permission or not.  I may also use email, but I must write 'kink' or 'fantasy' in the subject line so she knows what to expect before she reads it.

Actually I have cut way back on the amount of kink and fantasy I was pushing at her since she instituted these rules.  It made me realize that I was being pushy, and so now I try to wait until she asks me what I am thinking or fantasizing about.