The Australian Stock Whip

Ms Exotic gave me a very intense discipline session last night, using her Australian stock whip on me for the first time.

We had spent part of the day visiting some friends, and I got a bit sassy while we were there.  Not really in a bad way understand.  When we get together with these friends there is a lot of teasing that goes on, and I was teasing Ms Exotic a bit.  Of course being my Domme she gets to have payback in a fun way when we get home.

Anyway last night she said that she would like to try the stock whip on me, and I agreed.  The whip is fairly long, it is considered a five foot whip, but the way they measure them is to measure the braided part (thong) only, that does not include the handle, fall or cracker.  Altogether it is probably seven or eight feet long.

Here is a picture of a similar whip from the same maker:

It was not that easy to use such a long whip in our bedroom, but she did a great job.

She had me naked, standing near the head of our bed, with her standing down past the foot.  I began to get an erection while she was getting ready.  I mean come on it's pretty hot to have a woman standing there with a bullwhip about to discipline you, if you are a masochistic sub.  The first couple of lashes were not bad at all, I became even more erect, and was thinking that this was not nearly as bad as I expected.

Then along comes lash number three; HOLY CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   I nearly jumped out of my skin, my erection was gone by the time my feet hit the floor, and Ms Exotic was laughing so hard she snorted!

It was not easy to make myself get back into position, but I did.  Within a couple more lashes I was slipping pretty deeply into subspace, thank goodness.  This was one of the quickest trips into subspace I have ever had.  It usually takes a while, and some pretty serious pain to get me there.  Well, I have to admit this seemed like pretty serious pain to me, but it sure didn't take long.

I have no idea how many lashes she gave me, I don't think it was very many, but I was floating somewhere in subspace and definitely not keeping count. I know several more of the lashes really made me jump, I can remember her laughing a lot more, and me trying to concentrate on my breathing and taking the next one for her.  I know I was crying some, and I can remember jumping when the lash hit and then trying to get back in position.

I can also remember her coming up just a bit short a few times, feeling the wind, and hearing the pop when the lash just missed my behind.  Not sure if I jumped or not when that happened, but I can recall her laughing then as well.

I definitely needed a little aftercare when it was over, and she held me and stroked me for quite a while, that part was very lovely.

We played quite a bit more as well.  She used her Emjoi Epilator on my back.  God I hate that f*^$#ing thing!!!  It always makes her laugh though, and I do like to make her laugh.

She used another braided whip on me, one that I had given her as a gift some time ago.

This one is nothing near as severe as the stock whip was, it was more erotic.  She did make me spread my legs though, and she can make this thing wrap around in such a way so that it just stings the back of my scrotum.  A very painful sting, but very erotic as well.

I almost forgot, at one point, when she was about done using this whip on me, she made me guess a number between one and twelve.  I think it was twelve rather than ten.  Anyway, I would get ten hard lashes for every number I was away from the number she had in mind.  Thank goodness I guessed eight and she was thinking of nine, so I only got ten more lashes.

She let me bring her to a nice orgasm manually, allowed me to have intercourse with her, although I was not allowed to ejaculate.  I was not able to last very long, it's kind of stop and go with me especially when I have not cum in a while.  She also had me use a vibrator on her, which she seemed to enjoy a great deal.

One of the best things was that there was a lot of cuddling, petting, and just being intimate.  It was a very special evening.  I love Ms Exotic, she is so great about indulging my kinks, and she seems to enjoy them more and more herself.

Lost in a world of fantasy.

Like many men, especially submissive men, I often get lost in a world of fantasy.  I don't know why, since I have a pretty great reality.  I live a reality that would probably be many submissive men's fantasy, but still I get much too deeply into fantasy at times.

I wonder if vanilla men have as vivid a fantasy life as sub men?  For me, and I suppose most sub guys, fantasy was my only real sexual outlet for years, until I met Ms Exotic.  I had vanilla sex before then of course, and a bit of D/s stuff, but really the vanilla sex was never truly satisfying for me.  I was always left craving the D/s stuff, and fantasy was as close as I was able to get to having that itch scratched.

So after all those years of fantasy it has become a part of my sexuality, or an addiction, or ?????  I don't really know, I just know it is there, and it is really powerful at times. 

I have to be really careful that I don't push too much of it at Ms Exotic.  Sometimes I don't even realize that I have gotten off into fantasy land.  Something may seem like a great idea to me, and like it is just the way things should be, but if I tell Ms Exotic about it, or even if I can back away from it and look at it from a different perspective, I realize it is fantasy BS, and that it really is not fair to be pushing it at my wife all the time.

Now, I am not saying fantasy is bad, it's not, it can be great, and some should be shared with our partners.  However, sometimes I tend to over do it a bit.

Ms Exotic recently got together with a new guy.  Nothing pushes my sub buttons like when she cuckolds me.  I love it, it just makes me feel so submissive to her.  Now the downside is that it always kicks my fatasizing into high gear, and I have to be careful that I am not pushing too much at her and making her uncomfortable. 

I am learning to control myself better.  I usually keep my fantasies pretty well to myself unless she asks me about them.  Sometimes I just can't stand it and have to tell her something.  She has come up with a special way for me to approach her at those times.  I must approach her at an appropriate time, naked, and assuming a submissive posture.  She then knows that I wish to speak to her about something of a fantasy or kink nature, and will either grant permission or not.  I may also use email, but I must write 'kink' or 'fantasy' in the subject line so she knows what to expect before she reads it.

Actually I have cut way back on the amount of kink and fantasy I was pushing at her since she instituted these rules.  It made me realize that I was being pushy, and so now I try to wait until she asks me what I am thinking or fantasizing about.

Am I really a submissive?

This is the question I have been struggling with for the past week or so. Actually I have thought about this occasionally for years, but it has been more at the forefront of my thinking in the past week. Ms Exotic became very upset with me over some issues, and she accused me of not being submissive. We have since made up, but still I am thinking about this question.

I realize I am not an easy sub to deal with, it has been said that I am spirited, it has even been said that I am a smartass. I am certainly not compliant about all things, I do not even come close to the 'slave' type of submissive.

Other than to Ms Exotic, and Ms Erotic, I am really not submissive to anyone at all. I am respectful, I am a gentleman I hope, but not a submissive. I do not believe in female superiority or supremacy. I do not believe that I must submit to a person simply because she has a vagina. My submission must be earned, Ms Exotic and Ms Erotic have earned it. If one of them ordered me to submit to someone else I would be willing to do so, but the fact of the matter is that submission would belong to Ms Exotic, or Ms Erotic, until the new person had actually earned it.

So, I realize we are getting into semantics here, I usually don't really care how I am labeled, but in this case I am trying to help myself, and Ms Exotic, better understand who I am.

I have begun to wonder if a better way of describing myself is that I am uxorious with kink. I love to take care of Ms Exotic, I try to pamper her and care for her, I feel I am very devoted to her. Most of the time I am obedient and compliant.

Must one always be obedient and compliant in order to be a submissive? No human can be so always, can they? Would a true submissive always put forth their best effort to being obedient and compliant? I don't always do so. Sometimes I get in a bad mood and I can be a real pill. I may withdraw, I may even argue. I don't argue often, but it does happen.

I guess what it all comes down to in the end is that I am a very imperfect sub, I am willing to work on becoming a better submissive, but I will never even come close to being perfect. So, now the question becomes; is Ms Exotic willing to take me as I am? So far the answer is yes, and I hope that it will always be yes.

Fantasy vs. Reality

Ms Erotic, Ms Exotic's friend and co-owner of Men Submit, wrote a blog there recently about how men tend to get stuck in their fantasy world.  She talked about how men sometimes get so into the fantasy that they cannot find happiness in reality because they always compare the reality to their fantasy.  She wrote about how some men don't even try to find a real D/s relationship because they are so stuck on their fantasy.  I realize this does happen, in fact I spent several years in fantasy land myself, but I have found that the reality far surpasses the fantasy.

I wrote a response to her blog, and I would like to include it here:

From the time puberty hit until my early thirties I spent most of my time in fantasy land. Fantasy was good, and my right hand got really strong .   

I was too shy, too busy with my career, too ________ (fill in the blank, except Ms Exotic and Ms Erotic they have too much fun filling in the blank about me)  to actually have a relationship. Oh, I did have one fairly serious relationship while in college, and I dated here and there, but certainly most of my romantic and sex life was spent in fantasy land.

Since my early thirties I have actually been in two D/s relationships with a break of about a year between them. First was a long distance relationship that was mostly carried out online or on the phone, this lasted a couple of years. There was a fair amount of fantasy involved in this relationship as well. However there was also enough reality to show me that I truly needed someone to share my life with.

Next was marriage to the lovely Ms Exotic, we are at nine years and counting. I still fantasize, but the reality is so much better. 

No fantasy Domme was able to give me a child, none has shared their life with me, none has comforted me when I was injured or sick, or made me laugh when I was sad. 

It's true that Ms Exotic may not look like the barbie domme, her beauty far surpasses any leather or latex clad dominatrix I have ever imagined.

I will take Ms Exotic over fantasy any day. I'd much rather have a real hand to hold, as I journey through this life, than some figment of my imagination.

Fun and a funny!

I had a fun filled evening with Ms Exotic a couple of nights ago.  I love CBT, after all I am a male masochist.  What could be better, I get attention paid to my cock and balls and it involves erotic pain.  It's definitely a win/win for me. :)  We hadn't really had any good CBT sessions for a very long time, a bit of play here and there, mostly just a few slaps or a squeeze, but nothing that you could really call a play session, until the other night.

My pubic area has been kept shaved most of the time in the past, but over the summer I have allowed the hair to grow out.  Ms Exotic began the session by having me lay with my legs spread, she grabbed as many pubic hairs as she could and would tug on them.  Then she began alternating, grabbing a handful and tugging, grabbing just a few and pulling, in between stroking my penis and bringing me to the edge of orgasm.  She would squeeze my testicles, and slap my penis, and use her fingernails around the glans, absolutely driving me crazy with a mix of pain and pleasure.  

It was so much fun, she was amusing herself with me, and I was in heaven.  We didn't use any clamps or clips, no bondage or anything this time, but still after such a long hiatus from CBT it was an absolutely wonderful session.  Thank you Ms Exotic for indulging me, I hope that it amused you and that you enjoyed it as well.

So, that was some fun, now for a funny.  Ms Exotic was having lunch with one of her best girlfriends, they were talking about the fact that Ms Exotic is going to be meeting a couple of old chums, males, who have been recently divorced.  Ms Exotic's friend was very concerned, and warning her that maybe it wasn't such a good idea to meet these guys since they are so recently divorced, and that they may be wanting more than just a platonic friendship at this point.  She was very concerned that Ms Exotic, a married woman, was going to be putting herself in this position.  


Ms Exotic told me that she just started laughing, she then explained our relationship to her friend.  She has no plans to do anything other than renew old friendships with these guys, but she found it funny that her girlfriend was so concerned since even if she did do something with one of these guys she knows the only reaction I would have would be to get excited and turned on.

Anyhow, she ended up explaining our relationship to her girlfriend, so now all her close female friends know about our FLR.  

Punishment

As was posted sometime back, I had taken matters into my own hands, and masturbated to conclusion a couple of weeks ago while out of town.  That is a no-no around here, but we have been so busy I wasn't really punished.....until last night.

The following is an account, as best I can recall, of what happened.  Please understand much of this is a bit blurry to me, it was all happening fairly quickly, and I was just trying to follow direction, and accept the punishment as best I could.

Before I begin the description I think it is necessary to establish a few points.  First is that Ms Exotic really does not have that many rules for me, but not masturbating without her permission is an important one.  When I took matters into my own hands I did not do so without giving it some thought first.

I was fairly sure that if I could discuss it with Ms Exotic that she would have blessed me with permission to ejaculate under the circumstances, had I not believed this I would not have done it.  I also knew that did not excuse me from going ahead and making the decision myself, and that it would be necessary that I be punished for my actions.  I felt that under the circumstances it was something that I needed to do, and that I would take responsibility for my actions and accept whatever punishment that Ms Exotic felt appropriate.  I felt that Ms Exotic would be somewhat lenient with me due to the circumstances.  I still feel that Ms Exotic was quite lenient with me, and I would like to publicly thank her for her mercy and grace.  I know that she punished me out of love, and honestly I know that I was forgiven as soon as I told her what had happened.

I believe that this punishment was administered in order to strengthen our bond as Domme and sub.  I also believe that is the intent of this rule in our marriage.  I agree with this rule, in fact I am sure I was the one who proposed that she take control of my orgasms when we married.

I am grateful to her for taking the lead in our marriage, for the rules she has established, and for the punishment she administers when a rule is broken.  I also understand that there must be consequences when a rule is broken, otherwise what is the point of the rule in the first place?

While I did not break this rule in order to be punished, I would have been disappointed had I not been punished.  You see, I really do feel that some rules are important in a FLR, those rules can be whatever the woman chooses, but I do feel that there needs to be some parameters established.  In my opinion, without some parameters being established the sub is going to feel lost, and just be wandering aimlessly in the wake of the leader.

Now, I also need to point out that Ms Exotic does not feel that punishment should be fun for her sub.  I agree with her.  We do play with discipline and pain on occasion, but we see punishment as something completely different.

While punishment may involve the same implements, and even similar actions, there is a difference.  Play and discipline are intended to involve a level of pleasure, they strengthen our bond through erotic pleasure for us both.  In other words play and discipline are intended to elicit a positive reaction.

Punishment strengthens our bond as well, but in a different way.  Punishment is intended to correct a behavior, in other words it is intended to cause the punished to equate negative behavior to negative results.  So.... if I masturbate without permission, instead of just having a nice orgasm, something negative is going to happen as well.  That negative needs to outweigh the positive of the orgasm.  

Finally it is necessary to point out that I have a fairly high pain threshold, and am fairly experienced at receiving pain.  I have been in D/s relationships that have involved pain used as play, discipline, and punishment for sometime.

I am a masochist and I am capable of taking a fairly serious whipping.  Please do not think that Ms Exotic was in anyway cruel or over the top in what she did to me.  Everything was consensual, and it was all well within my ability to deal with.  Some people may think that what occurred was extreme, others will think it mild.  It is all a matter of perspective.  While some may argue that our play and punishment does not qualify as safe and sane, it is all consensual.

Now, on to the play by play:

It started off with Ms Exotic tickling me, which I hate.  She had me lay on my back, and she used a feather tickler.  It has a whippy handle with feathers on the end, it can be used to tickle, and the handle makes a light spanking implement as well.  So she started trying to tickle me, and giving me a few swats mostly on the penis and testicles with this tickler, but for some reason I just wasn't as ticklish as normal.  Since that wasn't having the desired effect, she switched tools.

She used a rawhide quirt that I bought for her about a year ago.   This quirt can be quite extreme.

She had me still laying on my back, with my legs spread.  She began quirting the inside of my right thigh, right below my scrotum, over and over.  She didn't start out light, there was no warm up.  She just kept hitting the same spot over and over, hard.

Things are sort of a blur from this point on.  I remember closing my legs at one point, and her telling me to open them back up and take my punishment.  I think I did okay.  I just concentrated on breathing, keeping my legs spread, and my body as still as I could from then on.  I have no idea how many swats she gave me, or how long this lasted.  She just kept hitting that same area on the inside of my thigh, the only exception being a few swats to my testicles, I could not hold still on those, but I tried very hard not to cover up.  One swat to the testicles in particular absolutely doubled me over, and it took me a minute to recover from that one.  I think Ms Exotic said she hit it with the edge of the popper on the quirt.  I just know it made me see stars.

Eventually she stopped, and lectured me on how important she felt it was that I not touch myself in that way ever again, no matter the circumstances.  She then told me to begin stroking my penis, and make it hard.  This was scary, because I knew something was going to happen and it was not going to be fun.  So I reached down and began stroking, immediately she began whipping that same area on my inner thigh extremely hard, and I mean extremely hard.  Holy #*&% it hurt!  I had been trying to keep the noise levels down previous to this, but I think I may have been screaming at this point.  I don't remember really how loud I was, but I know I was begging her to please allow me to stop touching myself, because I knew the only way she was going to stop whipping me was when I stopped touching myself, but since she had told me to play with it I didn't dare stop without her permission.  Finally she told me I could stop, and she stopped whipping me as soon as I let go of my penis.  She made me do this two or three more times.

I am not sure the order of things from here on, but I think that next she had me roll over and she whipped my bottom and the backs of my thighs for a while.  She then began to tickle me, I think with the lanyard from the quirt.  Whatever it was it worked much better than the feathers had, I was going crazy, and really struggling trying to keep reasonably still.  She also whipped me a bit with something thumpy, I think it may have been the handle of the quirt, but I am not sure.

I think that it was after whipping my behind that she said it was time to punish me for arguing with her a few nights ago.  Don't think I had mentioned it here, but I had argued with her over something that really upset, and actually scared me a bit, with regards to her safety.  But the bottom line is I should have handled it differently, and not argued with her.

Anyway, for this she broke out the tweezers.  She began pulling hairs from my lower back, and from various areas between my legs.  Sometimes it was one hair at a time, sometimes multiple, and she doesn't pull them quickly when she does this to me.  She pulls them very slowly, and when she grabs multiples I get to feel every single one of them come out.

This is one of her stand-by punishments, and believe me it is not much fun for me, she on the other hand always seems to think it is quite funny.  This went on for quite awhile, with her lecturing me, and asking me how I could have handled it better, how I will handle it in the future, was I really sorry, etc.  I am not sure, but I think that she quirted my behind some more, and spanked me a bit with her hand at some point as well.

Eventually she stopped, I was pretty exhausted by this time.  She had me roll over, and she got astraddle of me, allowing me to enter her.  She rode me for quite awhile, edging me over and over, and eventually giving me a ruined orgasm.  After that she had me make her some tea, then sent me to bed, while she took a bath.

If any of you think that this was fun believe me, except for her riding me and giving me the ruined orgasm, it wasn't at the time.  I know that reading about this it can sound kind of hot especially to us masochists, heck it even sound hot to me now, but last night it was not so hot.  My behind is okay this morning, but my inner thigh is still extremely tender, and shows a bit of bruising.

I would like to publicly apologize to Ms Exotic, Ms Erotic, and the entire Men Submit community.  As Ms Exotic explained to me last night since she is one of the owners of this site, and I am her husband, I am to be held to a high standard of behavior.  I am sorry for disobeying her, and arguing with her, and will strive to be better behaved in the future.

Tension (the good kind)

As I am writing this post I am waiting for Ms Exotic to come home, it is late, and I am very tired after a long, hot, day.  However, I am so excited!  I wonder what will happen when she gets here?  

Perhaps she will be tired, she has been working late as well after all.  Maybe she will just cuddle with me, hopefully allow me to stimulate her, I'd love to give her a nice orgasm.  Afterward, maybe she will give my testicles a squeeze, or a swat, roll over and go to sleep as I rub her back.  

Maybe she won't be so tired though, maybe she will be in the mood to play!  What might she have in store for me tonight?  When she is in the mood to play I never know what to expect, but often it is mind blowing!

There is the possibility too that tonight I may be punished.  You see I have earned some punishments that are yet to be meted out over the past couple of weeks.  Perhaps corporal punishment, but possibly excluded from her bed, or ignored by her.  I could be made to stay up even later doing extra chores, or perhaps writing lines, or an essay.  Real punishments given by Ms Exotic tend to not be fun, even the corporal ones.  

Even when we are together, I never know what her next touch will bring.  Will it be blissfully pleasurable, or will it test my pain threshold to the limit.  She often laughs at me, sometimes I will flinch when we are laying together and she moves.  Sometimes she can just sense my nervous tension, I live life on the edge(hahahaha), but I wouldn't have it any other way.  


I think that this is one of the things I love most about being in a FLR, especially one that involves kink.  There is a sexual tension between Ms Exotic and I, even after years of marriage.  I am so excited as I wait for her to arrive, wondering what the night will bring.  I am fighting fatigue bordering on exhaustion, but  still I couldn't fall asleep now if I tried.  It's not just tonight though, this sexual energy is there between us almost always.  Once in a great while life will really get the better of us for a short time, and it may seemingly disappear, but that doesn't happen often.  It does wax and wane somewhat, that is true, but it is almost always there to some degree.  I see other couples that seem to have lost that sexual energy from their relationship, and I feel so grateful that we have chosen the path we have.  Our FLR, and the kink we engage in, keeps things so fresh and exciting.

One thing I can say for sure, life is not boring when you are married to Ms Exotic.