Wishing for the whip.

I am happy to be owned by Master and Domalicious.  This is such an interesting experience, with such intense feelings.  My desire for Domalicious is off the chart right now, as is my desire to be physically dominated.  I think because I am experiencing all these emotions I really feel the need to be beaten, or to worship my wife, or to be allowed to watch her and Master together, or something that is more physical.  I guess there is so much going on in my head and heart that perhaps my body is feeling left out.

For the last several days I have felt the need to be beaten, not just a little discipline, but to be beaten into deep subspace.  I wish that Domalicious could beat me until I was senseless, and then hold and cuddle me as I come back from subspace.  I want to worship her as well, to inhale her fragrance, to touch her, and to taste her.

Domalicious belongs to Master now, as do I, and so it will be up to him what, if any, attention I get from her.

another update

So...after Domalicious read my blog last night we talked, and I had misunderstood things before regarding Master's ownership of me.  As I understand things right now, Master does still own me.  As Domalicious pointed out I am her property and so his ownership of her includes me.  How I am going to be dealt with by them is part of what they are discussing as they figure out the particulars of their relationship.  I am very happy about this and I am looking forward to serving them both in whatever way they wish.

I had a lovely night with Domalicous last night, we talked and cuddled a lot, played a lot as well.  I was and am feeling so happy in my submission to her.  We stayed up way to late, and I am exhausted this morning, but it was well worth it.  I love my wife.

More changes

Just a quick update.  Master and Domalicious' relationship has changed somewhat, they are still discussing what changes are going to take place, and what their new relationship will look like.  I really don't have any details just yet,  other than they are still together, Master still owns Domalicious.  I am not sure what my status is right now, but I believe that I am not owned by Master currently and that Domalicious has total control over me (along with AlphaDomme of course).

I will try to update here as things become more clear.

Feeling well.

My heart and head are finally catching up with all the changes over the past week.  I am getting a much better handle on my emotions.  I am comfortable now, I am getting to know Master better, and getting things straight in my head.  Yesterday and today I have not had any worries, and have been able to just enjoy the ride.

It is fun and exciting.  I love seeing Domalicious so happy, and seeing her experience being a sub first hand is so much fun for me.  It's all incredibly hot and erotic for me as well.  I love the control that Master has taken in our relationship even though it tortures me at times.  Not being able to kiss, or touch Domalicious without his permission is driving me crazy, I desire her so much, and it is so exciting for a masochist like me to be denied that physical access to my wife.  At the same time I need to say that Master has been generous and has not taken the denial to a point that it is more than either Domalicious or I can handle.

Of course I know that Master will be increasing his control over us, but I am comfortable now that Master will not push us too far too fast.  I believe he will push our limits, but my trust in him is growing and now I truly do feel comfortable and safe as his sub.

I was punished last night for having cum without permission a couple nights back.  Domalicious used the dressage whip and the quirt pictured below on me.

It was a fairly intense punishment whipping, there was no warm up, and it definitely got my attention.  It was also something I really needed, it was cathartic beside being punishing.  I can still feel the fire of the dressage whip on my back.  Thank you Master and Miss for this punishment.

Master was generous and allowed me to touch Domalicous last night.  We cuddled, and I rubbed and kissed her back.  Master had said that Domalicous could have intercourse with me if she wished.  It was her choice and she chose not to.  I am glad she made the choice she did, I think that both of us are truly beginning to love the fact that Master owns her body and to believe that it should be reserved for his pleasure.

I am still experiencing some very intense emotional moments, but yesterday and today, those moments have all been positive.  I am very happy and content right now.

Domalicious is home

Domalicious is home now, her time with Master seems to have gone very well.  Master told me that I should be very proud of her, and I am soooo proud of her.  She has always been such a strong wife and Domme for me, and I know that she will be a strong sub for Master.

I did have a difficult time yesterday when I picked Domalicious up.  Master had directed that I was not allowed to touch, hug, or kiss her until the evening.  I was feeling a bit fragile, and really needed a hug, but I made it through and Domalicous held me and made me feel so much better last night once we were allowed to touch one another.

When he found out that I had been struggling with my feelings Master was very generous and allowed me to have intercourse with Domalicious last night.  I am very grateful to him for that, it felt so wonderful to be inside her.  I was reminded that she, her pussy, and all her holes do belong to him, and that I was only being allowed into his pussy through his generosity, and I truly am grateful to him for that.  I wasn't able to do much more than just enter her, I was so worked up that I almost came just being inside her, but it still felt so good to be there, and to be a part of her, I needed that closeness.  Knowing that I was in Master's property just heightened the excitement for me.

I am finding this new relationship to be a real emotional roller coaster for me.  We have been involved in many cuckold relationships before, but the dynamic is so much different this time that it is raising many new feelings for me.  I am euphoric at times, and scared at times.  The euphoric times far out number the scary times, but both are very powerful.

I see Domalicious developing such strong feelings for Master, and I understand how powerful the feelings a sub has for her/his Dominant can be.  That is what is scary for me.  In all the previous cuckold relationships we have experienced I was never concerned that Domalicious' feelings for her partner would rival the feelings that she has for me.  In this situation I am not so sure.  I can see the possibility for her developing feelings for Master that are as strong as the feelings that she has for me.

 This possibility is what I have been struggling with most since Domalicious first met Master.  I am dealing with things much better now.  I had a talk with Domalicious about this, and she reassured me.  I also remembered a conversation I once had with a Domme and her sub/husband about this very subject.

To make a long story short, her husband had struggled with the same concerns when they had entered a somewhat similar cuckolding situation (she was not the "bull's" sub though) with a man that she developed very strong feelings for.  What she explained to me was that just because she loved her "real man" as much as her sub did not mean she loved the sub any less than she had before the bull came into the relationship, or that she would ever let her sub go.

She told me that she loved her sub and the other man in different ways and that her sub was her forever sub, the love of her life, and she would never let him go.  She also said that it was really hard to say that she loved the bull as much as the sub, or vice versa.  She said that the love was different, and asked "how does one measure love anyway."

I discussed this with Domalicious last night, and she reassured me that this is the kind of place that I hold in her heart and that she will never let me go either.  She told me that she has talked with Master about this and that Master would never try to separate us, and that she was very clear with him that I will always be her subhub.  With the trust I have in Domalicious I feel much better after the talk we had last night.

poor pinky

I was feeling so horny this morning.  I awoke humping against the mattress, pinky would so love to be allowed inside Domalicious' pussy.  Her pussy belongs to Master now though, and for that matter so does pinky.  It is such a turn on to me to be denied that pleasure and honor.  I do consider being allowed inside Domalicious an honor, and I have always thanked her when she allowed me to enter her.  Now her pussy belongs to Master and even if she wants to have pinky inside her she cannot without his permission.  Domalicious and I are both experiencing denial now, and it is such a turn on.

I had a difficult time falling asleep last night.  Domalicous called me and told me about her experience with Master, she thought it was wonderful, and I am so happy for her.  It didn't make it easy to sleep though, with thoughts of Master flogging and fucking her running through my mind.  Domalicious told me last night that I was not allowed to touch pinky, that made it even more difficult to fall asleep, no wife beside me to stroke, and no permission to stroke pinky.

Fortunately, once I was able to fall asleep, I slept well until my fantasies awakened me this morning.

Been a wild couple of days.

A warning before you read on, this post may ramble, change direction without warning, or otherwise be difficult to follow.  The last couple of days have seen so many changes for Domalicious and I.  My brain and heart are still playing catch up.  It is all so new I have not got a real handle on it all yet.  That is partly why I am writing this post, to try to help me get a better handle on all these changes, so I apologize if it ends up being difficult to follow.

I got home a short time ago after taking Domalicious into the city to meet Master.  They will be sharing a hotel, spending time getting to know one another better and of course Domalicious will get her first experience serving Master in person.  Master has said that I will not be allowed to participate in their first several meetings as they get to know one another and establish their relationship.  I am excited for Domalicous, and a bit nervous as well, I hope that it will all work out and that she will be okay.

I am not worried about her being unsafe with Master (well, okay I am just a tiny bit as I always am when she first spends alone time with a new guy), but I am worried that things will move to fast, that she may be overwhelmed, that the sub experience may be emotionally overwhelming for her.  From what I have seen of Master I think that he will train her carefully and not give her more than she can handle, but as a sub I know how powerful those emotions can be.  Domalicious is already experiencing how strong those  emotions can be, she is already developing very strong feelings for Master.  I am so in love with Domalicious and I just do not want to see her hurt.

Things are evolving very quickly, which I think is okay, it all feels right, but it is a bit scary too.  I am so thrilled to see my wife/owner so happy, she is on cloud nine when she is serving Master.  D/s relationships do seem to move faster than vanilla relationships, I suppose due to the way we must open ourselves up in a D/s situation, we get to know each other so intimately so much sooner.  I just hope that it does not turn bad suddenly.  I trust Domalicous and her judgement in these matters, and we have been discussing it a lot.  I think that one thing we both feel strongly about is that, even if things do not work out in the end, this has already been an amazing experience.

I do believe that things will work out.  I just have a feeling that all is right.  As I said I trust Domalicious, she is a good judge of people and she seems to be very comfortable with Master. I have been allowed access to some of their chats as well and he truly seems like a quality, honorable man.

Something else that is a bit scary to me in this situation is that I am not allowed to know much of what is going on between them.  This is something new, as in all her previous relationships Domalicious would allow and even encourage me to read her chats, emails, etc.  To be kept in the dark is a bit scary, but I think I understand the need.  They need to work on their relationship first and get it established before placing me in the mix.  I am sure there is much for them to figure out together as this is the first time Domalicious has submitted to anyone, everything is new to her as well and she does not need to be trying to figure out how to deal with me right now.  She needs to be concentrating on finding her place as Master's sub.  Did I mentions this was complicated?

As I said earlier I truly love Domalicious and I do not want to see her hurt.  The thing is that if this relationship continues there will be times when she will be hurt, and I will have to deal with it.  I don't mean hurt in the physical sense, I know that she will experience physical pain at the hands of Master but I do not believe that Master would purposely injure her or give her more pain than he thinks she can handle even as punishment. I am worried about her being hurt emotionally.  I am going to have to understand that they have a relationship with each other, respect that, and understand my role in the relationship as a whole.  I want to be there to comfort her, but I am not really going to be in a position to interfere with her relationship with her Dom.    I mean they are both Dominant over me, I just don't know how this will all play out.  She is Masters sub and has chosen to give herself to him, I cannot interfere with that.  I am truly beginning to understand what it means to be a sub, a real sub and to truly give up power.  Will there be times when I cannot be my wife's protector out of respect for her relationship with Master?  There is so much to think about here, and I think so much more to learn about myself, and my wife.

Although she is my wife and I her husband will I still be her primary?  I suppose not, which is scary as hell for me.  I mean I don't think I will ever lose her, but this is just so different from the poly relationships we have had in the past. She always had control in the past, she was always the Alpha.  Now Master is the Alpha.

I think I have just had an epiphany,  it is now about trusting Domalicious and in time it will be about truly trusting Master.  I think that is what is worrying me so much right now, I don't know Master well enough now, but Domalicious does, and she trusts him.  I trust Domalicious and have given myself completely to her, so I will follow her and continue to place my trust in her.  I am sure as I get to know Master better that I will grow to trust him as she does as well.  In the meantime I must be patient and trust in my owner.

I thought about removing some of the above post after realizing what the problem I was experiencing really was, but I think it is important that I let it stand.  I do apologize to Domalicious, and to Master for my lack of trust, I think it is just that so much has happened so quickly that I kind of lost track of that most important part of my submission.

Well, as I was working through the above Domalicious came on chat, and we talked for awhile.  She said that everything was going extremely well and that she was very happy!  I am so relieved!

Since this relationship is still in it's infancy there is much I do not yet know as far as how the dynamics will actually work, but I know now I just need to be patient and allow it to develop with Master's and Domalicious' guidance.  It is a bit scary to be in the dark about so much, but I think I have a better understanding of that now.